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Iapos;m thinking, again ... About who I am and how I feel about myself. I thought about that one special topic some time before, but I got unsure when it came to get further quicker as I thought. But this topic came to my mind again and I have to see if there is truth in it. I donapos;t have the need to fit in classes society made about genders and how they should behave, I just have to figure out right now what is best for me.
Everything else is doing fine. I donapos;t have any problems that are heavy on my soul with any other topic in my life.
I just have to listen to my heart and shut down the voices around me, so I can truly hear it.











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No seriously ppl... Im getting fed up with the fact that my bulletin space is filled with political issues. Here are some facts on why I think those bulletin posters are completely ignorant:

First and most important, people are bombarding Obama with racists issues, how hypocritical. Arenapos;t you calling him a "Niger" constantly? Isnapos;t that just as racist? Saying that we are embracing the terrorists now... PLEASE That poor dude has been there since such a long time ago, and if you didnapos;t know this he was born in Hawaii (do some research) All you do by calling him a terrorist is calling yourself stupid. Judging only because of the color of his skin is the most deliberate act Iapos;ve seen.

Letapos;s move to point number two, I love this one. Most of those ppl posting bulletins have not taking their time looking at each candidate. The reason of their stupid accusations? Their parents believes OH YES, just like little sheep. That why I like thos others who opose their family, not cause of rebellion or anything but because that means they have a life of their own and they are not just repeating things like idiots.

And the most comical fact of all these, I noticed that the majority of bulletin posters CANapos;T EVEN VOTE lol isnapos;t that utterly ironic? oh sorry I mean "moronic"

Guys get a grip on yourselves. Donapos;t just go along with the people just because you think you have to. If you really want to keep posting bulletins at least read about who the candidates are please. Grow an opinion of your own and then, based on that, say what you want to say. And one more thing, letapos;s say you believe whatever it is you believe; stop going around trying to convince other people of it, quit the Autocracy

-> ANd just so you donapos;t think Im making this ignorant thing up:

(Urban dictionary)
Obama
1. A puppet of the far left who will sell out to the lobbyists and perpetrate corporate greed across government.

(YouTube)


I hate politics to the max btw <3

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Title: Choices
Author:
Pairing: Frank/read and find out
Rating: PG-13
Point of View: Switches between Frankapos;s thoughts and hospital corridor conventsations
Summary:
ldquo;Mr Ireoapos;s�in a coma. Iapos;m sorryrdquo;
Disclaimer: I somehow doubt any of this every happened as we would have pounced on the story.
Beta: None. Any apologies for grammar and spelling errors
Warnings: Swearing
Author Notes: Iapos;ve had a really shitty month that even music and stories canapos;t cheer me up. So I decided to write a sad-yet-with-a-happy-ending story. This story is dedicated to Chloe and Gabby�who never fail to make me feel better about myself no matter how fucked - up my day is.

What?

�Whhellip; What happened? He washellip;hellip; No, not him. I was driving. Ithellip; It was dayhellip;hellip; No, no it was night.

�ldquo;Frankie? Frankie Wake up please Pleasepleasepleaseplease wake up Pleasepleasepleaseplease.rdquo;

�ldquo;Oh My God. What happened? This wasnrsquo;t supposed to happen.rdquo;

�ldquo;He gonna live right? He has to live. Forever and ever. We are gonna to grow old together. Wersquo;re supposed to play music together forever. It will never endrdquo;

�ldquo;Hersquo;s gonna be fine guys. We just have to stay strong for him.rdquo;

�ldquo;Frankie wake up PLEASE I love you. ITapos;S MY�FAULT ALL MY FUCKING FAULTrdquo;

�It wasnrsquo;t raining. Yea it was a beautiful night. So beautifulhellip;hellip;hellip; Where shall I go? He asked me to marry him. There was a hammock , a clearing, a forest and fairy lights. Lots and lots of fairy lights. I think it was a bad curve in the road. That and the gunshot. Therersquo;s a path. Therersquo;s my mumrsquo;s grandmother and dadrsquo;s mum. Strange really. Theyrsquo;re both dead. What do I choose?

�ldquo;Whatrsquo;s wrong? Please, please tell me. Irsquo;m his fianc�e.rdquo;

Peace and joy?

ldquo;Mr Ireoapos;s�in a coma. Iapos;m sorryrdquo;

ldquo;No. NO, NO OH GOD NOrdquo;

ldquo;Hersquo;ll be fine. You know Frankie. Always bouncing backrdquo;

Or love, happiness and my family?

ldquo;May I see him doctor?rdquo;

�ldquo;Yes. In my personal opinion the person in a coma can always choose where to go.rdquo;

�Only one real choice. For me.

�ldquo;Frankie? Itrsquo;s me. I love you.

�My family and my fianc�e. Ray.

�ldquo;Ray?rdquo;

�ldquo;Frankie?rdquo;

�ldquo;Ray, I sosososososo sorry. I love you.rdquo;

�ldquo;Love you baby. HErsquo;S AWAKE. FRANKIErsquo;S AWAKErdquo;

�Love, happiness and family all the way.

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I�have the sudden urge to be a music teacher. Maybe Iapos;m too passionate about music already. My mentor told me to go with what I really love and since Iapos;m taking music course now, why not dedicate my passion to teaching instead? Hmm, I shall consider about this.


Iapos;m on the phone with Kah Hao now and heapos;s singing and playing the guitar� the song we are performing for monthly performance. Haha, shit la. Make me melt sia. LOL. And I wonder if his parents will scold him for playing the guitar at this hour. LOL (:


Okay. I should sleep soon. Thereapos;s school tmr. Heh.

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I WAS trying to go to sleep, but Boobah just got up, stumbled in, asked if he could listen to my heart, and laid his head on my chest for a minute, then dashed to the bathroom, and while sitting down to pee, his breath started smelling sick again, and he started making a face. He hopped up and began crying, and suddenly recognizing what was going on, I pointed him at the toilet, and he threw up again, and then again, and then AGAIN. Every time heapos;d throw up, heapos;d raise his head again to cry and shake it from side to side, flinging stuff off his chin.

I am so nauseated I cannot properly express it. If I smell vomit one more time tonight, I will absolutely be joining Boobah in producing it.

Iapos;m so tired and Boobah wants to watch videos. Hubby has work in the morning, so I have to stay up with Boobah. I desperately want to sleep, and I canapos;t now, because we canapos;t leave him alone. He knows how to unlock the door, and he always takes off and runs aimlessly toward traffic when we donapos;t actively prevent it. :(

I cannot wait for this night to end.

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Maxapos;s jaw just hang in ashtonishment. He just stared at me as if I had fifty million heads. Had it been something I said?

"Did you just say Frank Iero was your ex-boyfriend?" Max said as if he could not bare to utter those words.
"Yes, I did..BUT That was over a year a go He means nothing to me He is nothing" I said still on the floor with my eyeliner running down my cheeks.
Max just stood there, as if he were recollecting something or just thinking..
"Why? Do you two know each other?" I said while I attempted to stand up and wipe off my tears.
"We used to be best friends when we were younger before I moved to Nevada. He lived down the block from me. We would hang out all the time just playing music and causing trouble." And as he said this, all of his childhood memories with Frankie started to come back to him.
"We were like brothers. We got our lips pierced together and he was there for me when my Pa Pa died. We lost connection after I moved but we both knew that weapos;d be famous; some how, some way. When both our bands starte dto head for the big time, we re-met on a tour and just started talking again. We tell each other almost everything even if we only get to see each other for a few mintues."
I stood there, stiff as a board. I tried to absorb everything that Max had just told me. So what did this mean for us? Was Max and Frankieapos;s close relationship going to brek us apart? I knew I had overreacted with the whole Frankie thing, but I did know how it was going to effect my relationship with Max.
"Max, I know there are a lot of hings I havenapos;t told you yet and Frankie was the biggest one of them all. I was just so hurt and ashamed of what he did to me and what had happened between us. But that was all in the past. Frankie is just another ex-boyfriend that is done and over with. I donapos;t want my past history with Frankie to break us. Max, you make me feel so much better about myself and everything around me. I can be my true self around you and you wonapos;t even think about judging me because you like what you see and get from me. I dont want to loose the way you make me feel and I especiall donapos;t want to loose you." My vioce trembled as I spoke those words. My knees felt like they were just about to give out on me and my whole body would collapse. I started to feel the tears piling up in my eyes and start to over-flow onto my face.
"Sydney, I really donapos;t know what to say or do or even think right now.. I seriously do not know what to say to you about this whole fucking situation." I could tell he was getting angry.
"You canapos;t keep these things from me. I know that he was in the past and he was done and over with, but I still need to know about this. Keeping this shit bottled up inside is not going to work for this relationship. Ugh, fuck.." He just paced around the alley way as he ran his hand through his thick black hair. I could tell he was thinking of something..

Please donapos;t say it, please donapos;t say what I know youapos;re thinking and what Iapos;m absolutely dreading..

"I think you need to give me a few days just to think. Everything is just to crazy and out of control and I need time just to think." As he said those words, my heary just sank into my stomach. He stood there with his hand on my back looking down at the ground. I could barely feel his hand on my back as I stood there so motionless and emotionless as if I were a mannequin. I felt like one too, cold and hallow. I finally found the words I was looking for while shuffling through all of my racing thoughts running back and forth through my mind.
"Yeah, okay. Whatever you think is best for us." I said so coldly.
Max rubbed his hand up and down my back real quick and then headed back inside. I stood in that alley way just holding the necklace he gave me. The necklace slipped from my weak grip. It just layed there on the cold dirty alley way ground.

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So as far as the cat goes, as long as he still is eating, doing his business, and purring and does not exhibit a change in personality, he has a quality of life (according to my wonderful vets.) So, Bogie is home one more time, with some fun filled steroids and pill pockets. It looks like a brain tumor, but for the time, he can still purr and crap out in the sun. So, life= slightly less poopie.

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My Aunt and uncle have lived in my grandmaapos;s house in the hills for about 20 years. My grandma has lived there for more than 40 years. My Aunt rescues animals and she has about 30 to 35 animals, mainly cats and dogs.

Early yesterday morning, the area was evacuated. My Aunt snuck back in yesterday to check on the animals, and they were fine. They were going to let everyone back into their houses last night, but put it off until the morning just to be careful.

Around 2 AM this morning, the fire started again. My Auntapos;s house is gone, all of their animals are dead. Nothing is left but bits and pieces of the trees. My Aunt, uncle, and grandma are in a hotel right now. They have all their medications and important papers, but thatapos;s it. Everything is gone. Everything.

Iapos;m still in shock. The police are saying that the fire was suspicious.

I just donapos;t understand, and I donapos;t want to. Why do such bad things happen to people who do nothing but good for this world?

I donapos;t know.This, it hasnapos;t really hit me yet.

For those of you who have pets, please just go tell them how much you love and appreciate them. Give hugs. Go tell your families that you love them. Because people forget just how blessed they are. Be thankful for what you have. Take care of each other.
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Despite feeling like poop this morning, I had a moment of apos;life is goodapos; driving home from class today. Actually passing the American Lit midterm that I did no studying for and still got an 84 on had something to do with that, I suppose.

But life is good... There are so many things I should post about, like the awesome Sleep When Youapos;re Dead event, the happenings on WAR, my monstrously huge penis...the list just goes on and on...

Yes, life is good...even when itapos;s life. (or is that because itapos;s life? hrm...)

Changeling this Saturday, whee Must actually do downtimes...must actually get in the mindset for Vampire...must wonder why we have site fee when weapos;re playing at a public park... Speaking of which, if you happen to read this, Glas, weapos;re actually going to be playing near downtown, so you have no excuse not to hobble down :P

Yes, I am rambling. Listen to the fuckhead, trust the fuckhead. It is the chairleg of TRUTH, and it speaks wisdom
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